I've been listening to this...

It's a new podcast by Rockmother - and she plays some "kickass music" (as she would probably say).

Flunch: Cite Europe, Calais

Flunch: Cite Europe, Calais

I went to Calais for the day with my cousin, her husband an my aunt. I wandered off on my own in the supermarket and bought a mixed assortment of wine and cider. This is where we had lunch, it's called Flunch - it looks much nicer in the picture than it was in real life but the food was OK. You can read more about Flunch by clicking on the photo. (They should market Flunch in the UK under the slogan "Flunch - what the French call lunch."

Mess with a French Family at the Beach

Mess with a French Family at the Beach

Been making photos from our French holiday look like models (sort of). This uses Christopher Phin's Photoshop tutorial at http://recedinghairline.co.uk/tutorials/fakemodel

Brick Lane: last week

Brick Lane Yesterday

I've been helping Yol who's been given a dozen or so eating places to review. On paper this sounds fantastic but having to eat out that many times in a few weeks isn't all it's cut out to be, particularly when you don't get to choose the places you eat in. Off the top of my head the places I liked were Jones's Dairy in Columbia Road; Story Cafe off Brick Lane (this picture was taken outside of Story) and the rest have become a bit of a blur. My problem is that I probably wouldn't eat in either place normally. The bad places were terrible and the worst was Cafe Boheme on Old Compton Street where I was served cold steak and chips. On the upside they did me a new steak and chips and gave me a very large glass of wine which pushed me over the edge as I'd already been drinking the free bar at Adam's book launch earlier that evening.

Cathy Lomax at Rosy Wilde

Cathy Lomax at Rosy Wilde

Been busy seeing art for the last week. This is Cathy's show at Stella Vine's new gallery space. She's kept the Rosy Wilde name from her place in Whitecross Street and it's above the Ann Summer's on Wardour Street. The night we went was pretty packed and very very hot. In this picture Cathy still hasn't arrived but Stella's on the far side taking pics.

Adam's book launch: One in Three

Adam's book launch

Went to Adam's book launch at the John Snow last night. Book launches are weird, they're like art show openings but (I suspect) with bigger egos and a more formal hierarchy to be observed. The publisher, the agent, the publicist, the family and the friends (the last two groups having read early drafts in a random order and as a result have no idea what the book's actually like) are all there*. Adam told a nice story about his mum. Having read the first draft she said "Well Adam, it's not very good is it". I think her initial comments about his first book were "Maybe writing isn't really your thing".

The book (I've read half of it in draft) is very good and is mostly about the history of cancer treatments. It's also about the death of Adam's dad but it's not really a cancer biography. You can read about it here and buy it here.

* Adam reckons book launches are weird but not for the reasons I've listed. In his case he thinks it's because he had lots of his contributors there and wanted to make sure he looked after them.

High Horse: even more

High Horse: even more

The High Horse ran an excellent evening of readings at the equally excellent Grant Museum of Zoology, part of the University of London. A series of writers were allocated different exhibits from the collection and each wrote a response. Bats, octupi and all sorts in formaldhyde formed the subjects of most of the stories. (George promises an audio download by "the middle of the week" on The High Horse website.) The Museum collection includes all types of monkey skeletons, a cat, elephants and even better it's free.

Konstantin Lifschitz's Piano

LSO St Luke's London

Went with Steve last week to LSO St Luke's which used to be a fucked up derelict Hawksmoor church by Old Street. Now it's very nice, like a yuppie's loft (but tasteful), all exposed brick and wood and double height ceilings. The concert was great. I wanted to go because I'm really common and Lifschitz was playing Bach's 'Goldberg' Variations as made famous in The Silence of the Lambs. As far as I remember (and being lazy as well as common I can't be bothered to check) in the film you just get to hear it playing when Hannibal is being held in the makeshift jail in Baltimore (?) and the unfortunate guard detail bring him his dinner. Hannibal has been playing it on his little cassette player and it continues through the scene. In the book (as far as I remember) it's one of his requests when they're negotiating for his help in finding the Senator's kidnapped daughter. He asks for one (of the two) Glenn Gould recordings and specifiies which one. I really can't remember which one it is, the earlier one or the later, but since the book came out that particular recording now outsells the other 5 to 1!* Sony marketing executives refer to this as the 'Hannibal Effect' - when one particular recording of the same piece of music by the same musician outsells another based on the fictional recommendation of a fictional character.

Lifschitz was great - dark and dressed in some weird black smock he seemed to have some kind of facial twitch despite being only 29 or 30 (he was born in 1976). As for the performance of the music I thought it was really fine (but what do I know). Over the years I've acquired two recordings of 'Goldberg'; the Gould (which is very short as he doesn't play any of the repeats) and one on Harpsichord by Pierre Hantai (which is really fucking majestic and I've just put it on).

* Regular readers will know that this is (obviously) a 'fact' that I just made up.

"I don't want a new outfit, I want a fucking wardrobe!"...

Fine dining at IKEA

...says my wife. This is the second time in less than seven days that I've been to IKEA and the third time in a month. I tell her this is proof, if proof is needed that I really love her. "Isn't the wardrobe for you as well?" I hear you ask, gentle reader. It is in the sense that my clothes will no doubt be in it (if it ever comes back into stock) but it isn't for me in that I would just as happily live out of a carrier bag/suitcase/pig sty.

Today was the turn of the Lakeside branch having been to Edmonton ("It's fucking murders there," as my ex-brother-in-law might have said) twice previously. This was simply because the internet led my wife to believe it was in stock there whereas Edmonton had sold out. This is no doubt because the wardrobe she'd like to score is the only one that might possibly have come from Heal's (but only on a dark night with your eyes half-shut). Anyway, as you already guessed it was out-of-stock despite the computer's belief that there were three stacked up in the shelves-and-pallet-hell just before checkout. Yol was pretty upset and the three stacking cardboard boxes, hand towel and shower-curtain didn't really begin to make up for it. I suggested a hot dog and after that (and a small fries and drink) she cheered up a bit. It was in the car as we were leaving the IKEA carpark that I suggested she might like to buy a new outfit at the nearby Lakeside shopping centre. Mr IKEA, she really really wants that wardrobe. Please help.

Hackney to Clapham and back again: Mark McGowan

Hackney to Clapham and back again

This is Mark McGowan, performance artist. At the show in Clapham we went to you could fight him in the guise of Ken Livingston. This is what it says on his website:

STREETFIGHTER (an opportunity to fight Ken Livingstone)
In an extraordinary art exhibition, controversial artist Mark McGowan is to proposition members of the public to boxing matches in the street. Clad in boxing attire, boots, shorts and gloves, McGowan will also be wearing a box on his head with a picture of the Mayor of London Ken Livingstone.

McGowan says, " i will be out at 10am outside the GLA building near Tower Bridge next Thursday looking for people to fight me (Ken) and arrange up to 10, one minute fights, which will take place outside the Clapham Art Gallery, as part of an art exhibition on Thursday 18th May 2006. You can prebook by calling 07956084780 or contact the gallery. I know lots of people are upset with Ken and his policies but i am here to defend Ken i think he is a great Mayor and there are too many people disrespecting him. Ken is not only the Mayor of London but a true fighter in every sense of the word, so if there is any black cab drivers, congestion charge critics etc, that fancy there chances, i am Ken and i am ready."

Maria gave him a good kicking. I thought he was OK, mostly because he's funny and he admits most performance art is rubbish.