"When I rule the world..."

"It's a question of control," says my wife. At least once a day she'll start to say something like "In my production of 'Guys and Dolls' they won't sing that song because it's not very good' or "When I'm running a bed and breakfast we'll serve baked fruit (like peaches) for breakfast". It's hard to remember them all so I'm going to start writing them down here (for the good of humankind). I think they're Open Source and can be implemented freely as long as you retain the original credit.